… expression through movement. Dance is a language so universal and rich in possibilities, that there is no end to the process of learning and researching. Every performance is a work in procesS OF ME as a danceR.
THE LAMENTATIONS OF MY KIDNEYS (WORK IN PROCESS)
THE PROJECT I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON DURING MY TIME IN VIENNA JULY/AUGUST 2018, TAKING PART IN THE ATLAS PROGRAMME OF THE IMPULSTANZ FESTIVAL...
In the context of my work as a yoga teacher I have been intensively researching the (inner) organs, especially inspired by the theory of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), which is associating the organs with energy channels running through the body (meridians), characteristics and emotions.
Initially inspired by a dance workshop I took in 2017, I found myself in profound self-study of the organs and eventually started to translate that knowledge into my yoga practice and my teaching (ORGANIC YOGA – Yoga for Your Organs).
Realising the richness of inspiration the organ functions, meridians, acupressure points and concepts around the organs were offering me, I wondered how to use all of it in dance? What practice, what artistic expression could emerge?
Being slightly overwhelmed by the enormity of the material I was confronted with, I decided to focus my dance-related research on one specific organ: the kidneys.
‘THE LAMENTATIONS OF MY KIDNEYS’ is a process of researching the kidneys on a physical, energetic and emotional level. Why the kidneys? Energetically speaking the kidneys are home to our vital energy and recharging our batteries. On top of the kidneys the adrenal glands are located, which are responsible for the production of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol – what was meant to be the so called ‘fight or flight’ mechanism for emergencies has become a constant state for most adrenal glands being carried around in our society. This is having a tremendous influence on the entire body, mental health and the soul.
Depleted kidney energy is related to emotions of fear and anxiety, leading to trending issues such as stress, exhaustion, burn-out or ultimately adrenal fatigue.
The work with the kidneys offers me access to a current topic of relevance within our society from an energetic perspective and is leading me to artistic expression through my physicality.
My approach is holistic (body, mind, spirit) and my work process-oriented. What happens with me, when I address the kidneys and correlated meridians through movement? How could this research be relevant for other people?
So far I have been working only with myself. I’m collecting all kinds of outcomes: movements, tasks, practices, stories, experiences.
Currently the artistic expression of my research is a solo in process, it is my idea though to eventually expand and share it with other people.
KRESZENZIA / 22.7.2018
It was late, it was dark, it was empty.
It was time to sleep, she was tired, she thought. But she couldn't. Couldn't fucking sleep. Her thoughts wer racing, circling around the same situations again, again, again.
And her body started racing as well, pacing around in the emptiness of her flat, doing for no reason. Re-folding clothes, adjusting plates, making camomile tea impatiently enough to spill half of it. Getting annoyed with herself.
Her kidneys were screaming, crying...
"It hurts. I'm tired. Tired of trying. Tired of forcing. Tired of people. Tired of trying to be seen and not being seen. Tired of never being enough. Tired of not fitting in. Tired of thinking. Tired of feeling. Tired of not being understood. Tired of being afraid all the time. Tired of being so worried. Tired of being tired. Tired of being me. Tired of life. Tired."
She collapsed on the floor and found comfort in the resting sadness.
There was a knock on the door.
It knocked again.
"Kreszenzia, are you here?"
A slim, elegant figure let herself in through the unlocked door.
"Kreszenzia, it's me. Mrs La Peur."
TO BE CONTINUED...
In January 2018 I finally went through the process of recording this solo material, which I have been working on since August 2017. It stands in connection to some thoughts I'm sharing here:
‘JULIA OHNE’ (=JULIA WITHOUT) stands for Julia without Romeo and is asking the symbolic question ‘What if Julia would have listened to her rationality instead of her passion?’
Symbolic meaning symbolic for all what is indicated.
First of all that this figure did indeed act passionate and irrational as she actually had no clue who this Romeo standing underneath her balcony was. She knew though, how difficult the situation could become in the context of the present family constellations.
Second of all symbolic for the question whether a Julia in today’s world would have acted the same way, because I dare to state, that we tend to listen more to our rationality today – what does passion actually mean and where does it have space in our society? Related to that: how is femininity and feminine passion defined today and how is it expressing itself in opposition to rationality? In which dimension does this stand in connection with the theme of emancipation?
Third of all symbolic for the question whether Julia necessarily needs Romeo? What happens, when a human being makes the existence and affection of another chosen human being responsible for his/her own experience of happiness? How happy does this construct actually make us, is it possible to be happy without it and if yes, how? How stable is emotional dependence? Can I experience emotional connection without being emotionally depending or in other words how can I detach from emotional attachment?
‘JULIA OHNE’ thus doesn’t only stand for Julia without Romeo, but rather for a blank space in many ways and the question, whether this blank space is emerging from the romantic perception of society or is actually a blank space.
'JULIA OHNE(2.AKTion/2.SZENE)' is the continuation of 'JULIA OHNE', referring to the balcony scene of Shakespeare's original text translated into Swiss German, which is layered with the personal experience of painful physical interaction.
Furthermore it deals with the sensibility and memory of touch.
'Dear Vagina. I am sorry for not protecting you from all the pain you experienced, from all this violence, from all that numbness and repression. I promise I won't let anyone touch you ever again, who isn't treating you with kindness, love + respect. You are perfect the way you are.'
- Julia, August 2018
Words, they echo in my head.
Words you said.
Illusions I fed.
Words, they flow through my mind.
Words which could be kind.
Reasons I find.
Or love so blind.
Words, they collect within.
Words to describe a sin.
Walls are fallin'.
Are you in?
Words, they expand me.
Words with the power to free.
Truths you could see.
Who is she?
Words, they define action.
Words to awaken satisfaction.
One look brings connection.
Time is fraction.
Words, they have been constructing.
Words begin to sing.
The making of a king.
Loss of everything.
Concept + Dance: Julia Kannewischer
Camera + Cut: Zuzana Kallova