finally all the pain+hurt was showing up,
which was unusual for him,
scary even.
it had taken years of UNRESOLVED tension to get there.
years of
SUPPRESSED feelings
unsaid truths
standing up STRENGTH
+ independence.
tearing down those walls + letting go
LEFT HIM STRONGER THAN EVER.
‘I’m PROUD OF YOU’, she wanted to tell him.
- not for being strong during all those years, but for finally confronting the people, who have hurt him so deeply, with his emotions. for allowing himself to be HUMAN.
if we all would TRUST each other
as much as we trust our SELVES,
the world would be a saver place.
simultaneously we know this to be an illusion.
THANK YOU disillusionment.
things hardly ever turn out
as I expect them to.
so I can as well let go of
EXPECTATION.
if I really believe
I am doing this,
I AM DOING IT.
[which applies to most of the cases]
FRAGILITY
surfaced easily,
was mistaken for weakness,
couldn’t keep the WALLS from falling,
until there was nothing left
to hold onto
except for LOVE.
she was STRIPPED OFF
one layer after another
until her bare soul was revealed
in all its vulnerability.
it was as if she lived
through the processes
of all prior incarnations
within the first decades of this life.
********************************
i almost called you this morning, the dream of you running after me – ‘hey, what’s wrong with your knee? let me have a look at that’ - bending down and creaming it was just so VIVID.
there is NO QUESTION
whether / not to do it,
however challenging the circumstances
YOU HAVE TO.
- this must be your calling.
when it was taken away,
she cried more
than over any broken heart.
as the universe kept throwing CHANGES at her, she kept rearranging her plans and got real shit SPONTANEOUS.
change all travelling plans + find a new place to live within a week? SURE.
schedule in an operation + change the rest of the remaining plans? NO PROBLEM.
go on PAST
MOVE on fast.
days flying by
ME standing shy.
significant OTHERS
DEAR brothers
go on past
move on fast.
we invent
things for rent.
all half-BENT
OFF we went.
free FALLING
STARS calling.
who is matching
will be catching
EACH OTHER.
[eventually]
ELEGANCE is not referring to what you wear,
rather HOW you wear it.
***
is any time spent ever wasted?
if time is just a construction,
WASTED TIME is a judgement we project on a certain situation.
think about it.
what if WASTED TIME was relevant for how different people’s stories knit together and for your personal development?
***
these days the word WORK is very trendy.
what is created is ARTISTIC WORK.
a theory or practice built is A BODY OF WORK.
personal growth related processes mean that YOU ARE DOING THE WORK (on yourself).
[sweetheart, you have to let go of that shit, it’s holding you back.. - jaah, I know I AM WORKING ON IT etc. ]
then there are all the activities being done for money, also called WORK.
even in a physical practice it’s being said WHAT I WANT YOU TO WORK ON HERE IS...
about the workaholism of society.
it suddenly dawned on her,
that the UNIVERSE had fucked up her original plans,
because it had to create
SPACE + TIME
for other events to take place.
***
some people will like what you do.
some people won’t like what you do.
you can’t ever please everyone, except for if you do nothing
- and even then some people won’t like it.
so it’s better not to care and
DO WHAT YOU LIKE.
+
everybody is a free person.
personal FREEDOM
goes as far as you don’t restrict someone else’s personal freedom.
(things I was told when I was little [i mean even more little than now])
attentively doing the most BASIC ACTIONS
might make them highly complex processes
as you begin to understand their DEPTHS.
ATTENTIVE LISTENING ENHANCES UNDERSTANDING.
(in any situation with any amount of people, actions + such)
yes, I could have recorded some clever yoga video to demonstrate this principle (and I do think, it especially applies to yoga), but SURELY there are enough other people demonstrating yoga here - how many times on the other hand have you seen someone performing DRINKING TEA?
everything will CHANGE
except for the
essence within me
- AS ALWAYS.
Music: CHANGE by Tracy Chapman
ONCE MET
THE SOUL WON’T FORGET
it was like
‘oh, I think we’ve met before’
and maybe it was
in another life.
isn’t it funny,
how versatile RECOGNITION
can be?
in a split second
EYES meet
hands TOUCH
SMELL reminds
familiarity settles in.
haven’t we been here before?
haven’t I told you already?
YES. probably.
LIFE is what we see in it
what we see, we PROJECT + vice versa
LOVE is where we allow it to be
ALLOWING IS LETTING GO OF CONTROL
control is HOLDING onto.
OH DEAR.
finding new ways to move on stairs.
music: YOU DON’T OWN ME – LESLEY GORE
LETTING GO
is closely related to
SURRENDERING YOURSELF
to a situation
+ allowing it to enter
YOU.
(in physical practice + life.)
this is different from being passive.
rather it refers to finding
A STATE OF PERMEABILITY,
letting situations
PASS THROUGH YOU.
stay available to your surroundings.
24.4.19
everything was UNDERSTOOD, thus the exchange of energy flew effortlessly as they were LIFTING EACH OTHER UP.
she found herself not overthinking,
+ instead DOING,
cause in fact,
what else was there to be done?
also, overthinking was terribly exhausting
- she had been there, done that.
***
“you have a cold syndrome”, he said.
“fully aware, thank you.”
(+ obviously resisting change)
/ holding back unexpected tears.
when we tell each other STORIES,
as if we have been telling each other already,
-even though we haven’t-
maybe those conversations have in fact been going on,
without our CONSCIOUS KNOWING,
because the
EXCHANGE between OUR SOULS was fluid all along.
my knee is having another crisis, we’re currently slowing down, practice patience and I’m trying to LOVE it anyways, cause I know, it has been working hard for more than twenty years.
people moving TOGETHER
shifting energy in space
connecting to the UNIVERSAL VIBRATION
feeling LOVE for all creation
making no difference between each other
and other potentials of humanity.
***
when she didn’t see it coming,
IT ALL CAME.
when she didn’t expect it,
IT ALL FELL INTO PLACE.
wounds HEALED,
fears were RELEASED,
she was exactly,
where she needed to be.
today @karmakarma
celebrating HOPE
hope to be ON THE RIGHT TRACK
hope for PEACE
hope for LOVE
HOPE + FAITH
hope for dreams coming true
hope for intentions manifesting
hope for miracles happening
(i)hope, YOU’re doing well
easter means to hope for what seems impossible.
easter means to believe in the unbelievable.
(like Jesus walking randomly out of his grave, isn’t that unbelievable for Christ’s sake?!)
easter means to believe in HUMANITY
+ the DIVINITY within each and every one of us.
3 years ago, on April 21st2016, i was hanging on a tree trunk upside down in the general rehearsal for a piece premiering the next day.the tree trunk wasn’t stable and it fell, with me beneath it.i still know, how it felt to be holding myself on the tree, how the wood smelled, how the dress felt, how the music stopped and with it the world.how everyone was calling JULI.i thought i had broken my entire ribcage with that tree on my chest, miraculously i hadn’t.i got taken to the hospital to sew my chin back together, the doctors saying many things i didn’t understand – they didn’t speak english.i don’t know how, but i performed the premiere the next day.the trauma, the pain, the stress, they all came later.
what ON EARTH was she doing here?
her brain zoomed out,
creating walls between her + the world,
disconnecting her from her surroundings.
her HEART desperately tried to stay with the people around her,
but she COULD NOT FEEL THEM anymore.
her mind had taken her far away from any REFERENCE TO TIME + SPACE.
THANK YOU nothingness
THANK YOU clarity
THANK YOU disillusionment
what?!
HI, my name is.
WHERE IS THE LOVE?
wherever, whenever
baby, REMEMBER MY NAME
+ many other songs randomly racing.
suddenly there is a sense of DROPPING INTO SPACE,
everything aligns,
situations OCCUR AS THEY WERE MEANT TO.
this constant fight for EXISTENCE, does it ever stop?
HUMAN thoughts, i have them, too.
surely, we all have the right to be here and phrases like
‘all you have to do is SURRENDER to the present moment’,
i just can’t live from that.
about following the heart + stuff.
