22.1.20

she recognised 

THE KIND OF COMFORT 

she felt, 

when he sat down 

NEXT TO HER. 

hashtagknowyourpatterns. 

.

she dreamt about 

THOSE TIMES. 

haven’t we gone 

over this, 

sub-consciousness. 

I MEAN, 

come fucking on, 

it’s been a decade.

TIME to let it go. 

TIME to tell yourself 

new stories about life. 

.

for a long time, 

I couldn’t NAME 

that weird part of me. 

then I learned a word, 

which explained 

a lot of things 

in the world. 

ANXIETY. 

.

music: While My Guitar 

Gently Weeps

by Madi Diaz 

& The Guest and the Host

.

21.1.20

EPH, DEAR. 

it’s been a year. 

.

you’ve filled 

the loneliest days 

WITH PURPOSE.

you’ve held me 

THROUGH 

the darkest times. 

you’ve reflected 

BACK AT ME, 

what I couldn’t see.

you’ve shown me, 

WHAT NEEDS 

HEALING. 

you’ve given me 

a voice, space, 

EXPANSION. 

you’ve spoken 

TO PEOPLE

I wouldn’t have. 

you’re allowing 

me to be me. 

let’s practice 

some more 

HUMANNESS

together.

I love 

ALL OF YOU. 

.

this sophisticated caption 

was a request.   

.

music: My Heart Will Go On 

(Il mio cuore va)

by Il Divo

.

20.1.20

SOONER / LATER

letting go 

will be the only 

CHOICE left. 

.

the question is 

DO I DRAG

everything I carry 

up to that point 

in time / can I 

RELEASE 

some of the stuff 

before. 

.

SURELY 

I’m travelling 

with more ease 

without the extra 

BAGGAGE. 

.

the mental process 

OF LETTING GO

is like the natural 

detoxification systems 

of the body

– when ONGOING, 

it keeps me healthy.

.

music: Loslah

by RapNose

.

19.1.20

seeing 

every situation 

OF LIFE

as the practice 

of full embodiment 

(within the self) 

is POSSIBLY

the closest I can get 

to being present. 

what does it mean 

TO YOU. 

right now. 

ARE YOU 

STILL HERE. 

what 

do we make 

of this now.

.

music: Whenever Wherever 

(Shakira cover)

by Апрелия

.

18.1.20

HOW you 

stepped over 

MY BOUNDARIES

on that particular day 

with a fucking smile 

on your face, 

telling me, it was all 

just in my head. 

HOW on earth 

could I let that happen. 

HOW could I 

not punch you 

in the head 

RIGHT THERE. 

I mean, 

that would have been 

REASONABLE.

.

HOW TO

let go 

of the thoughts, 

when they don’t 

LET GO OF ME.

.

music: Härz:Bluet:Louf

by Troubas Kater

.

17.1.20

they didn’t know, 

where 

ALL OF IT

came from. 

it did 

HOWEVER 

release into the space 

AS IF

inspiration needed 

to free itself of 

all these stories. 

very little 

communication 

was needed, 

YET 

they knew 

WHERE 

they were going. 

WHAT 

had to happen next. 

driven by 

UNKNOWN

SOURCES.

.

music: The Lonely Doll

by Cass McCombs

.

16.1.20

you kept sticking 

in my mind. 

as if my heart 

was blind. 

to what was true. 

TRUE for you. 

which ofc I’m 

only ever guessing. 

.

+ if I was confessing. 

then WHAT. 

YES what. 

TEENAGE-LIKE

trails of thought. 

WILL I EVER GROW

out of them. 

should. could. would. I. 

POSSIBLY NOT. 

.

+ what would life be 

without cheesy poetry 

ANYWAYS.

.

recording by Sara Persico

.

15.1.20

have the 

SENSATION

of wanting to 

EMBRACE 

someone far 

FAR AWAY

in your 

whole skin. 

SOFTLY TOUCH

everything around 

you with your gaze. 

.

+ other things 

you can do 

with language. 

.

it was like 

I had suddenly lost 

the FRAGILE 

connection to you.

amidst the mess.

WHERE ARE YOU. 

.

music: Comme Avant

by Alma Forrer

.

14.1.20

IN FACT 

the body 

knows it all. 

.

+ deeply 

LISTEN 

I shall. 

.

to what 

it’s got 

to tell. 

.

EVEN IF

it takes me 

straight to hell. 

.

+ IF 

we all would 

do so. 

.

further inwards 

our journeys 

would go. 

.

+ SPEECH 

would come 

from the heart. 

.

mind + body 

were no longer 

APART.

.

.

.

music: In the Air Tonight

by Sierra Eagleson

.

13.1.20

even just 

thinking about 

that particular 

SITUATION 

filled her with 

RAGE.

RAGE.

yes. 

RAGE. 

about 

what had happened, 

but mostly about 

what had been said, 

what had 

not been understood 

.

+ her missing courage 

to say NO. 

PLEASE LEAVE NOW. 

aka

GET THE FUCK OUT.

sometimes 

our stress response 

isn’t fight / flight, 

but friend + freeze. 

PROBLEMATIC.

how do we 

DEAL 

with the collective 

accumulation of rage, 

WITCHES.

.

music: Vagina

by Alaska Thunderfuck

.

12.1.20

the full moon 

SHONE HEAVILY 

+ made 

the whole 

INTENTION 

setting thing 

more serious 

THAN 

the beginning 

of the new year 

had done. 

is the information 

I’m feeding myself 

ALIGNING with 

where I am intending 

to go. 

+ where 

do I wanna go 

ANYWAYS.

ONE DAY 

I’m going 

to drown myself 

in SELF-REFLECTION.

+ practice.

OFC.

.

music: That I Would Be Good

by 孫燕姿

.

11.1.20

even though 

I KNOW, 

separation 

isn’t a real thing, 

I felt it. 

.

+ I KNOW, 

the stories 

my mind is telling 

ME 

aren’t necessarily 

TRUE. 

YET 

I sometimes 

believe them. 

.

which contexts 

ARE OK

for me to be with 

people + which 

make me feel 

anxious.

.

music: Where Is My Mind 

(The Pixies cover)

by Sunday Girl

.

10.1.20

DEAR PEOPLE. 

when did our society 

start shaming girls 

FOR HOW

their vulvas look. 

.

+ IF 

you have ever 

shamed anyone 

for how any part 

of their body looks, 

FUCK YOU. 

it’s just not ok.

…

for a warm heart 

+ SELF-ACCEPTANCE. 

the woman said, 

when I touched 

the stone called 

RIVER OF GOLD. 

I hope, she was right.

.

sound: The Vulva Gallery 

Book Campain Video

+ Sequenza XIII: Chanson

.

9.1.20

are we serious 

ABOUT THIS. 

wouldn’t it be 

ATYPICAL 

for events to take 

place that way. 

is this 

where I shall find 

EXPANSION 

to let the unimaginable, 

the only-in-my-dreams 

scenarios in. 

IF WE CAN

change our minds, 

we can change 

ANYTHING. 

.

+ MAYBE 

it is about softening. 

about doing less 

+ listening more. 

.

music: The Living Room

by Amanda Palmer & 

The Grand Theft Orchestra

.

8.1.20

SOMEWHAT 

the feeling of 

connectedness. 

just because 

SHE KNEW, 

he was watching 

.

+ he knew, 

SHE KNEW, 

he was watching. 

making sure 

the other one knows, 

WE’RE STILL HERE, 

still thinking of each other. 

WHERE 

are we heading with this 

WORLD. 

what is it doing 

to our humanness. 

what are WE doing 

to our humanness. 

.

+ isn’t it all so 

SURREAL. 

.

music: Instagram Story

by Keenan Gregor

.

7.1.20

INSTEAD OF

letting it go, 

the body 

kept it all in. 

HOLDING ONTO

what was scary 

to release. 

CONTAINMENT.

.

music: LeBron James

by Do Nothing

.

6.1.20

as she sat alone 

IN STILLNESS, 

all the conversations 

she’d ignored 

to have with herself 

STUMBLED 

across the floors, 

ECHOED 

from the walls. 

OH dear 

MADNESS, 

let me have it all. 

du bisch 

DE WAHNSINN. 

nei, aber 

ich han 

DE WAHNSINN. 

sei gewarnt, 

sweetest of all hearts. 

.

BETTER NOT

to take her seriously, 

they thought + were

POSSIBLY RIGHT. 

who knows. 

.

music: Questions (Live)

by Flo & Joan

.

5.1.20

I SEE ALL CLEAR. 

cleansing the body 

for it to become 

PERMEABLE. 

being content with 

the wholeness 

of ME. 

thinking with the 

ENTIRE SELF. 

resting in that place 

of hyper presence 

+ THEN moving 

into the direction 

I am called to. 

DESPITE 

the irrationality. 

DESPITE 

the nonsense making. 

OF IT ALL.

.

music: Black Tie

by Grace Petrie

.

4.1.20

the world was 

A WIDE, FULL PLACE. 

she aspired bringing 

THAT EXPANSION

into her heart, 

so she would grow 

into a version of herself 

all about compassion. 

.

THE THINGS IS, 

all of us are connected 

through the matter 

of our souls. 

if a soul falls off the wagon, 

it will affect the rest of us. 

+ SO 

we should stretch out 

a catching hand 

for the sake of all souls. 

HOW 

can I do so more often.

. 

HE looked straight at her. 

isn’t that a bit much 

to ask of yourself. 

OFC, 

she smiled, 

but IMAGINE 

what a place this world 

would be, 

if all people thought 

THIS WAY. 

he hugged her so tightly, 

that she didn’t know anymore 

where she ended + where he started. 

.

music: I Have Nothing

by Beverley Knight

.

3.1.20

the amount of time 

I have at my hands 

always feels too little. 

my own song 

repeating in my head.

(I love my INSANITY) 

WHILE consciously 

transitioning 

into a new 

passage of life. 

IS ONE EVER READY 

for this. 

.

some things 

my writing knows 

BEFORE I DO. 

looking back, 

it always did. 

.

on a completely 

DIFFERENT NOTE: 

I don’t believe 

in the term 

work-life-balance. 

it sounds as if 

we were to either 

WORK / LIVE. 

PERSONALLY 

I also live 

when I work. 

I hope you do, 

TOO.

cause I care 

about your 

SOUL.

.

music: post 

20.6.19

(go find it)

.